Is that a cyclone or Jesus?

Recently the world has been experiencing what modern man calls a cyclone, and these things have been causing some serious damage. Not only the destruction of homes, building and injuries to civilians, but within that lies an even greater mystery. With my research and extensive training in biblical knowledge I know these cyclones to be anything but a natural disaster. Where do the people go missing from these attacks, and what happens to them? I am here to inform everyone about what really happens.
According to a certain man who shall remain nameless stated that on a specific day in October the world would cease to exist as we know it, and Jesus would return and take all of the saved people with him. Well as untrue as that day turned out to be there lies some truth. This man rebutted his statement by saying it would happen within the course of five months. Testaments to the bible reads that no one knows when or how Jesus shall return and take his army with him up to the heavens. I on the other hand have full knowledge of how exactly he is going about his duty. As someone who speaks directly to Jesus on a regular basis I got the inside scoop. He is all about surprises and yes no one will know when he is coming, but I do have the facts on how he returns. Over the past 13 years He has been returning in the form of a cyclone, that's right a cyclone. These massive earth shattering so called disasters is actually a surprise visit from the lord Jesus himself scooping up the very souls he needs at the time of his eminent return to earth. His ingenious cover up as a cyclone has everyone fooled. However not all cyclones are Jesus, and the mess they leave behind are a distraction of what really happened. It's all part of his trickery, and who says he doesn't have a sense of humor ha ha.
These cyclones or days of reckoning for some have been becoming more and more frequent, and in places that wouldn't normally have this type of so called natural disaster. From the census Burroughs head count there has been 33 thousand people taken from these cyclones in the past year. Which state or country is next we will never know, and for that matter which natural disaster that we blame mother nature for is next? We all remember the tidal wave of 2002 in Kansas. Now that just doesn't happen, kinda like rain on your wedding day. So next time you hear of a cyclone coming your way this just might mean you are next to join the almighty up in the sky. If it were me Id be running to give that "natural disaster" a hug, and once you're gone just think no more high gas prices.
If anyone would like more information on this topic and more insight please don't hesitate to send me and email. drashleyknowsbest@lovejesus.org