Why Teachers are Boring

The ‘Boring Blog’ is the world’s foremost authority on all things boring. In this article, the boring blog will strive to understand how teachers have such incredible boring powers. In a recent episode of Family Feud, School teachers were polled as being the most boring force in the Universe. The question beckons: Where do Teachers get this power? How can we, the boring blog, tap into this force of boring teacher energy and use it to create the most boring content possible, for you, our reader?

In researching the issue, the boring blog contacted Albert Cuminhands, A four time college bowl champion, current Snapple fact writer and general world expert on all facts useless and boring. Cumminhands explained that teachers are able to create more boredom then anyone for two reasons:

A.) In order to become a teacher, one must spend a significant amount of time in school. This leaves them with more time to learn and be trained in the art of being boring.

B.) Since one must go through school in order to become a teacher, teachers make school as boring as possible, so that less people can complete the process and compete for their jobs. It is in the teachers best interest to make school as boring and painful as possible to try and force students to try and pursue non academic careers.

Cumminhands theory is basically that teachers are trained to be boring and also have a financial incentive to be so. One 7th grade math teacher. Miss McGrannypants commented: “I’m a women of tradition. School was boring when I went through it so I try and keep that tradition alive.” So if we can learn how to be boring from teachers the crucial things are to have a financial incentive to be boring and to have a long standing tradition of boredom. The boring blog will work towards creating these things

- Genis Benis


In Next weeks article, Genis Benis will discuss the importance for all middle school teachers, Male or Female, To get breast implants and use the ‘’F” word.